A Sea of Blue

Have you ever swam towards the bottom of the ocean or a pool only to look up and see the sunlight filtering in beautifully down below? You just wanna swim up and catch it right?
I want to catch it too. Yet I feel like I can't. Everytime I try to swim up to reach for it I feel like I get pulled down. Like I am tethered to the bottom and I can't break free. That beautiful light seems to be elusive.
There is a certain person that I feel like acts like my tether, yet at the same time I am scared to truly break free for good. It reminds me of a Tech N9NE song, "I love you, but fuck you."
I love this person so much, because they really do a lot for me but sometimes I feel like they hold it over me.
I sometimes feel like I am drowing in a sea of blue...swirling around me..choking me.
I want to break free from my tether and be the strong person I know I am.
I want to catch the light.